the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
