So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
