I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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