i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
