guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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