I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
