porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
