Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
