I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize