I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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