I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
