We're like a lot better than the average bears
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
