So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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