There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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