I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize