I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
