Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
