Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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