It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
