I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
