I wanna bring you to show and tell
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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