we're blogging at a bar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
