I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
