Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
