Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
