based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
