as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
