im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
