The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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