so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
