Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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