Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
