so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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