HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
