she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
