we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
