Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
