you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
