And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
