I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The best revenge is premature balding
fuck your aforementioned shoe
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
