You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
