something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Still dying that you shit outside
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize