I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
