i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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