The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
