I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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