please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize