im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
