I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
