I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
