shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize