the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
