Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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