Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
