Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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