god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Where is the hickey?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
