The beer is more important than you right now.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize