saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
