just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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