That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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