I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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