i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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