My liver just broke up with me...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
