There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
